That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize