hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
