aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
