every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
