Your face is a jimmy john
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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