I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
