my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
vagina is talking i cant
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
