what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
