I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize