cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
