i jhust puked up my retainher.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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