i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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