OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i out mim tonsoeep
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