I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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