I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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