Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
