I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
