yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
