i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize