i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
