There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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