you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
