At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
