I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This is classic penis vs brain.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
