Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
