so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
