Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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