Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
