I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
