Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
