You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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