I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
