I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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