There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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