Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
