I hate your face
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Randomize
