Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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