Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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