You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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