first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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