Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
