Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
