Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
