I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
