Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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