i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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