i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
