I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just want nice things and good sex
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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