theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
