stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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