i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
