Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Anal astronaut?

(847): View more from Illinois

Wow word travels fast.

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(563): View more from Iowa

The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.

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(303): View more from Colorado

he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper

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(907): View more from Alaska

I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it

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(540): View more from Virginia

fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.

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