So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
