I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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