We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
