i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
