she woke up with a sticky ear
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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