After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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