Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
