I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
