it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
There's even glitter on my cock...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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