I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
