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It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A+ Viking dick
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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