it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
