saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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