forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
