I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize