My room smells like vodka and shame
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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